#bro who granny this is

[karkatbug]

college roommates davekat where dave comes out to karkat bc he trusts him and karkat responds as you would expect

1/2/3/4

[todayisafridaynight]

Do you think Aoki's going to spend 6.8 quintillion years in Buddhist Hell instead of 3.4 because Arakawa was both

i think he gets 3.4 but only on the technicality he didn't kill anyone directly otherwise Yeah 🥰

[stargod]

Hi, sorry, its been literally 4 months since QuintonReviews put out the Beverly Hillbillys video of all time and i'm still not over the fact that all upperclass people from urban areas were apparently so unaware of crayfish that no one knowing What They Were could b A Running Joke for like Half the Series???? How? How??? Ive never Met a person who doesnt know a crayfish. My moms from Minneapolis and she regularly went to catch crayfish in streams n creeks! Its genuinely my favorite joke I'm absolutely elated at the notion 😭🤣🤣

[hoshifighting]

lee chan as your sugar baby!

— WARNINGS: sugar mommy x sugar baby relationship, smut, cock riding, overstimulation, oral (m. receiving). — (Seventeen as Sugar Baby's Series)

chan's fingers hovered over the keyboard, the couch under him squeaking as his friends shifted closer, eyes glued to his screen. the profile had been a joke, a dare born out of a boredom and too many beers. his bio was something ridiculous, like “lee chan, 25. likes dancing, long walks to the fridge, and avoiding adult responsibilities.” he doesn’t think much of it, just another one of those dumb things you do with friends that you forget about the next morning.

so when that notification popped up, he��d been fully ready to shrug it off.

“oh shit, someone actually bit,” seungkwan snorted, elbowing him in the ribs.

“no way,” vernon leaned in closer, practically draping himself over chan’s shoulder. “what, is it a granny looking for a toyboy?”

chan was already smirking, about to type back something half-assed, but then he clicked on the profile.

silence.

“bro…” was all soonyoung managed, voice dropping to something almost reverent.

you stared back at him from the screen, the photo set in dubai. expensive-ass bikini that screamed designer without being obnoxious about it, a pool so clear it could’ve been a goddamn mirror. every photo after that, some crazy tourist spot, one after the other. greece, italy, fucking bali. you were clearly someone who had their shit together, someone who probably had the same watch collection as his entire paycheck for the last year.

chan’s still staring at the screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard. he’s never seen anything like this before. you look like money, smell like money, like that fancy, understated kind of wealth that doesn’t need to brag.

“are you gonna reply or just keep ogling?” seungkwan’s voice snapped him out of it.

he glanced at the message again. just a simple “hi” but now another one had popped up.

“she’s typing again,” someone whispers, and chan snaps out of it, eyes darting back to the chat window.

“you’re real cute in that profile pic,” it read, followed by a winking emoji.

“well, fuck me,” chan muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair. “what the hell do i even say to that?”

“anything but something stupid,” vernon quipped, nudging him.

chan bites his lip, glancing at his friends who are all staring at him like this is the most important conversation of his life. and maybe it kinda is.

his fingers hovered again. you were out of his league in every way that mattered, but here you were, talking to him. and what was he? just some dude who loved dance and cheap beer. but fuck it. he wasn’t about to let that stop him.

“hii! you know, you look even better than all those tourist spots. might have to see for myself sometime...”

“oh my god, dude,” vernon whispered, trying not to laugh too loudly.

“he’s going in!” seungkwan half-yelled, covering his mouth in shock.

chan hit send and immediately regretted it, cheeks burning. “what? too much?”

“nah, man, that’s bold,” soonyoung said, barely containing his grin. “you might’ve just scored.”

seconds felt like hours, everyone staring at the screen, waiting. then, the notification pinged.

“lol, that’s cute,” you replied. “where you living rn?”

chan’s hands shook as he typed back. “seoul. just a humble dancer here. what about you? where you at?”

“imma bet she’s like, in some penthouse in new york or something,” soonyoung guessed.

chan rolled his eyes but waited, heart in his throat, until your next message popped up.

“france atm. here for work.”

“what the fuck?” chan whispered, blinking. “she’s in france? who just casually drops they’re in france?”

“she’s high-class, bro,” vernon chuckled, “better up your game.”

chan swallowed, typing back, “damn, france, huh? that’s far. what kind of work are you into?”

“bet she’s got some crazy job,” soonyoung mused, leaning in closer.

your reply came quicker this time. “i’m a director at a company. lots of traveling, lots of meetings, but it’s worth it.”

“right?” chan exhaled, trying to play it cool. “guess i better brush up on my french. so, when are you back in seoul?”

“soon,” you replied. “might need a tour guide when i get there. you up for the job?”

chan felt his heart skip a beat. “hell yeah, i’m up for it. i’ll make sure you see all the best spots.”

“even better if one of those spots is your place,” you teased.

his friends erupted into laughter, nearly falling off the couch as chan’s face turned beet red. “fuck… she’s smooth,” he mumbled, grinning despite himself.

“she’s gonna eat you alive, and you’re gonna love it,” vernon teased, leaning back into the couch, grinning ear to ear.

days passed, and his friends kept throwing out jokes, but none of them actually thought he’d go through with meeting you. it was supposed to be a dare, a laugh, nothing serious. but there chan was, pulling on the finest clothes he owned, trying to look like he belonged next to someone like you. black slacks, a crisp white shirt, the kind of fit that made him feel like maybe he could pass for someone with a little more class, some nice pants, and his best pair of shoes. it wasn’t designer, but it was the best he could do.

he paced in front of his apartment building, checking his phone every two seconds. his palms were already sweating, and his heart raced in his chest like it was trying to break free.

then, he saw it—a sleek black porsche 911 pulling up to the curb, the engine purring like a panther. “no fucking way,” he whispered to himself as the door opened and you stepped out, removing your sunglasses with a casual flick of your wrist. your gaze locking onto his. you were the picture of luxury, the kind of woman who had her shit together and didn’t let anyone forget it.

chan swallowed hard, his confidence from your messages feeling a little shaky now that you were right in front of him. “uh, hey,” he managed, running a hand through his hair.

you smiled, a slow, knowing curve of your lips as you approached him. “nice to finally meet you, chan,” you said, your voice smooth, like you were used to making people feel a little off-kilter.

“y-yeah, you too,” he stammered, trying to hold it together. “you look... wow.”

“thanks,” you replied, glancing at his outfit. “you clean up pretty well yourself.”

he chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “figured i should try to look the part.”

you gave him an appraising look before tilting your head towards the car. “so, you know how to drive?”

he blinked, caught off guard. “uh, yeah, of course.”

“good,” you said, tossing the keys his way. he barely caught them, fumbling a bit as he did. “why don’t you take us for a spin, then?”

“you want me to drive that?” chan asked, glancing back at the porsche, his nerves doubling.

you nodded, a glint in your eye. “you got it, pretty boy. show me what you can do.”

chan’s heart thudded in his chest as he walked over to the car, his hands still a little shaky as he slid into the driver’s seat. the leather was soft under his fingers, the kind of luxury he wasn’t used to, but damn if he didn’t feel like a king behind that wheel.

he started the engine, the car rumbling to life, and glanced over at you. you were watching him, your expression amused but with a hint of something else, something that made him feel like this was more than just a ride.

“so, where to first?” he asked, gripping the wheel a little tighter.

“how about we start with wherever you usually hang out?” you suggested, settling into the seat, your gaze flicking to him. “i want to see the city through your eyes.”

chan nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “okay, i can do that.”

chan had never felt so out of his element, yet so at ease. he’d taken you through his world, showing you his favorite spots around the city—the dance studio where he spent countless hours perfecting his moves, a little-known art exhibition that he’d insisted on paying for, despite your amused protests. now, the two of you strolled through a quiet park, the late afternoon sun casting a warm, golden glow over everything.

as you walked, chan led you to a secluded spot where an old statue stood, slightly weathered but still striking. it was a simple piece, a couple entwined in an embrace, their lips inches apart, forever captured in a moment of almost-kissing.

“so, this statue,” chan started, his voice a little softer now. “there’s this legend that if you kiss someone here, you’re supposed to stay together forever. something about how the artist sculpted it after he lost his wife. he wanted to capture their last moment together, just before they kissed, so they could be like that forever.”

you stopped, staring at the statue, then glanced at him with a knowing smile. “and here i thought you were just a dancer. didn’t know you were into old romantic tales, too.”

he shrugged, a bit bashful. “yeah, well, this place is special. it’s got a vibe, you know?”

“i know,” you replied, stepping closer to the statue, your hand brushing over its surface. “i’ve actually been here before. in fact, i’ve been to every place you showed me today.”

chan’s eyes widened in surprise, a mix of shock and curiosity flooding his expression. “wait, you did? why didn’t you say anything?”

you turned to face him, your gaze locking onto his. “i just wanted to spend time with you. i wanted to see how you experience these places, what they mean to you.”

“that’s… actually pretty sweet.”

you nodded, stepping closer until you were right in front of him, your body almost brushing against his. “you think so?”

for a moment, neither of you spoke, the world around you fading into the background. chan could feel the words hanging between you like a challenge and an invitation all at once.

“well,” he said, his voice dropping to a near whisper, “there’s still one thing we haven’t done yet.”

“what’s that?” you asked, your voice equally soft, a teasing edge to it.

chan didn’t answer with words. instead, he slowly closed the distance between you, his hands gently resting on your hips. you could feel the tension in his muscles, the way he was holding back, not wanting to rush, but there was no mistaking the want in his eyes.

and then he kissed you.

it started slow, like he was savoring the first taste. his lips were soft against yours, but there was a firmness in the way he held you. the kiss deepened, his hands sliding up your sides, feeling the smooth, expensive fabric of your dress under his fingertips. it was like touching pure luxury, and it made his heart race even faster.

you responded in kind, your hands sliding over his chest, feeling the hard planes of his muscles beneath his shirt. he was strong, solid, and the contrast between his ruggedness and your refinement sent a thrill through you. you pressed closer, feeling the heat of his body, the way his breath mingled with yours.

he pulled you even closer, his hands now fully around your waist, one sliding up your back as if trying to memorize every inch of you. there was nothing between you and the world but this kiss, this moment, where time seemed to stretch and bend around the two of you.

the kiss was everything—soft and sweet, yet desperate and consuming, like neither of you wanted it to end. his scent surrounded you, a combination of something clean and musky, grounding you even as the kiss made you feel like you were floating.

you pulled back slightly, your lips lingering close to his. you could still feel the ghost of his kiss on your mouth.

chan’s apartment is exactly what you imagined—small, cozy, clean, and it smells like fresh laundry mixed with something musky that’s all him. it’s simple, a little too bare maybe, but there’s something comforting about it. like it’s a place where he can just be himself.

“it’s not much,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck as he leads you inside. “definitely not what you’re used to. not fancy or anything, but… it’s home.”

you smile at him, stepping further into the living room. “i like it,” you say, and you mean it. it’s a place that feels real, lived-in, and right now, it’s exactly where you want to be.

chan watches you carefully, like he’s trying to gauge your reaction, but when he sees the smile on your face, some of that tension leaves his shoulders. he looks at you, a little nervous, but you can see the desire underneath, the way he’s holding himself back.

“so,” you say, stepping closer to him, letting your body brush against his. he’s solid, all hard muscle and pent-up energy, and you can feel the heat radiating off him. “you gonna give me the full tour?”

his breath hitches when you press against him, your lips so close to his that he can practically taste you already. “uh, yeah,” he says, his voice low and a little rough. “i mean, it’s not a big place or anything, but…”

you don’t let him finish. instead, you lick his lips with the tip of your tongue, just a quick, teasing flick that has him groaning almost immediately. his hands twitch at his sides, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch you yet.

“chan,” you murmur, your lips ghosting over his. “why don’t you show me the whole place?”

his eyes darken, his hands finally coming up to grip your waist, pulling you flush against him. “you mean… like, now?”

“now,” you confirm, giving him a slow, sultry smile. “and maybe we can start with the bedroom.”

chan doesn’t need to be told twice. he practically drags you down the short hallway, your laughter echoing off the walls as he fumbles with the door. the second you’re inside, his hands are on you, pulling you close, kissing you like he’s been waiting forever to do it.

you push him back toward the bed, feeling the mattress hit the back of your legs as you fall onto it together. chan’s kisses are hungry, almost desperate, and you can feel him trembling slightly, the anticipation building between you.

“fuck, you’re so hot,” he mutters against your lips, his hands sliding under your shirt, feeling the soft skin beneath.

you smirk, running your hands down his chest, feeling the hard lines of his muscles. “you’re not so bad yourself,” you tease, slipping your hand lower, brushing over the bulge in his jeans.

chan’s breath catches in his throat, his hips bucking up into your touch. “shit,” he groans, his head falling back as you palm him through the fabric.

you undo his jeans, sliding them down just enough to free his cock, and you hear the sharp intake of breath he takes as the cool air hits him. he’s already rock hard, thick and pulsing in your hand, and when you lean down to take him into your mouth, the sound he makes is nothing short of pathetic.

“fuck, oh fuck,” he moans, his hands gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles turn white. “shit, your mouth… feels so good.”

you hum around him, swirling your tongue over the tip, tasting the salty bead of precum there. chan’s hips jerk involuntarily, and you can feel how desperate he is, how much he’s holding back. you start moving your mouth up and down his length, taking him deeper each time, and the way he’s losing his mind over it is almost enough to make you lose control.

“i… i can’t—” chan gasps, his voice shaking as he tries to hold on. “i’m gonna… fuck, i’m gonna cum.”

you don’t stop, sucking harder, taking him all the way to the back of your throat. chan’s moans are getting louder, more broken, and you can feel his cock throbbing, his whole body tensing up as he gets closer and closer.

“fuck, i’m cumming, i’m—” he chokes out, his hips bucking up as he spills into your mouth. his whole body shakes, his moans turning into desperate, breathless gasps as he rides out the high, his fingers digging into the sheets like he’s afraid he���ll float away.

you don’t let up, even as he starts to soften in your mouth, your tongue teasing him, milking every last drop out of him. chan’s breath comes in ragged pants, his body twitching uncontrollably as you keep going.

“s-stop,” he pleads, his voice hoarse, almost broken. “too much… can’t…”

you pull back, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you crawl up his body. “too much?” you ask, your voice full of teasing. “we’re just getting started.”

chan barely has time to process that before you’re straddling him, your body pressing down onto his still sensitive cock. he gasps, his hands flying to your hips, but he’s too overwhelmed to do anything more than hold on as you start moving.

“fuck, fuck, i can’t,” he whimpers, his head falling back against the pillows, his eyes screwed shut. “i can’t, it’s too much.”

“you can take it,” you murmur, leaning down to kiss him, your hands sliding up his chest. “just relax, let me take care of you.”

chan groans, his hips bucking up into you even though every nerve in his body is screaming at him to stop. the overstimulation is driving him insane, every touch of your body, every movement making him tremble, his hands gripping the pillow like it’s his lifeline. he’s never felt anything like this before, never thought he could feel this good and this overwhelmed at the same time.

you can feel him trembling beneath you, his whole body tense with the effort of holding on. it’s almost too much for him, but you don’t stop, not yet. you want to push him just a little further, want to see how far you can take him.

chan brought out something in you that you hadn’t felt in years. it wasn’t just the excitement of being with someone young and full of life—it was how he made you feel, like every moment with him was a break from the weight of the world. he had this way of dragging you out of your high-stress life and dropping you into something simple, fun, and completely unpretentious.

like that time he took you to the amusement park. you hadn’t been to one in ages, but there you were, screaming your lungs out on roller coasters, laughing so hard you thought you’d cry, and holding his hand through it all. it wasn’t fancy, wasn’t anything like the high-end places you usually found yourself in, but it was exactly what you needed. chan made you feel alive in a way you’d forgotten was possible.

then there were the movie dates, sitting in those darkened theaters with him, your feet up on the seat in front of you like a couple of carefree kids. he’d always pick the cheesiest movies, and you’d groan, but somehow, they ended up being exactly what you needed. you loved watching his face light up during the action scenes or how he’d lean in close to whisper jokes in your ear, making you laugh so much you’d miss half the movie.

but it wasn’t just the dates. it was the little things. like when he’d have one of his fashion shows for you, parading around your massive living room in the new clothes you’d gotten him. the way he’d strike ridiculous poses, just to make you smile, or how his face would light up when you genuinely praised him, making him feel like he was on top of the world.

and you loved being by his side when his friends came over. they had this infectious energy, pulling you into their world effortlessly. you even found yourself spoiling them now and then, slipping one of them some cash or buying them a round of drinks, because they took care of chan so well, and you appreciated that more than you could say.

chan balanced you in a way that was almost scary. no matter how tired you were after a long day at work, he was your constant source of energy, always there, always ready to make you feel better. you’d stop by some luxury brand store on the way home, picking up a few things for him because you knew he’d love it, and because it made you happy to spoil him a little.

you knew that when you walked through the door, he’d be there, waiting for you. sometimes, he’d pull you into bed, his arms wrapped around you as he coaxed you to sleep, whispering sweet nothings in your ear until you drifted off. other times, he’d be more playful, those dancer’s hips of his working magic as he eased the stress out of your body in ways that made you forget all about the bullshit of the day.

“missed you,” he’d murmur, his voice husky and full of affection as he pressed a kiss to your neck.

“missed you too,” you’d reply, your hands finding their way to his hips, pulling him closer. “you always know how to make everything better.”

and it was true. chan wasn’t just a breath of fresh air—he was your escape, your balance, the thing that made everything else worth it.

[miusmusings]

this is extremely good meme material

Nah cuz I'm really curious about the second case 😭

So, Phaya isn't attending the gallery exhibition as a bodyguard but as an actual guest 👀

Will it actually be there? I mean, Phaya's suit...is he going to get married or what? lol

These dudes are fighting in front of Tharn?!

And I do really hope the second mlm couple has a good story. I mean how will they manage to attract my mind if this is suppose to be their first life, you can't expect me to get over PhayaTharn just by giving me a normal couple 😭

THANK U SO MUCH, THE SIGN, I own you my life.

[andreablog2]

One thing abt the Luigi thing is how it breaks the mold of being able to scapegoat certain subcultures. From the 50s up into recently “radical left” had a specific look media outlets could run with and vilify, from beatniks and hippies to woke sjws and just anyone who protests. The Luigi guy basically kept up the appearance of a well adjusted life and all images of him look very broy and tinder friendly. Even the way he dipped out of society would raise no red flags given age and area of industry.. I think this causes more focus to his ideology, that in all honesty is a modified form of libertarianism with more steps and ambiguity that allows for more opportunism in whatever circles he was trying to gain something from. His “political incoherence” is a hallmark of tech bros. It’s kind a relief he’s white and not queer or outwardly creative, though the Monopoly money was gagy. Because his milieu of upper class tech bros is essential to the American defense system in this moment, it’s not a group of people that’s wise to slander …from a political maneuvering perspective on the establishment right or left …so there’s this weird tension of what to vilify him for other than the principles of murder…which itself has has been argued in Luigi’s favor by millions online. It’s going to be hard to vilify every granny with nothing to lose who feels emboldened to complain about their insurance. Especially as like on the world stage, this is what America gets clowned on the most for, both gun violence and healthcare.

[negrowhat]

15 Day BL Challenge the Threequel

Day 39: Favourite red flag character?

Payu from Love in the Air. This Masterclass Manipulator basically conned Rain into pursuing him. He played mental gymnastics with that boy when they first met not to mention he lied about not remembering him AND tampered with his car to create a whole non-currency payment situation that worked totally in his favor. But I fucking love Payu and his messy habits.

Nubsib from Lovely Writer. Pretty sure my boy might be a borderline psychopath. He didn't really care about much or others unless it was in direct relation to his beloved Gene. Bro became an actor and lied about his identity just because he HEARD Gene might be present during the filming of the series adaptation of the writer's book. Not to mention he managed to manipulate his way into living with Gene even tho ole boy had a dorm. ALSO LET'S NOT FORGET HE DELIBERATELY BOUGHT THE CONDO NEXT DOOR TO GENE'S AND DIDN'T TELL HIM. Also have y'all seen the way he makes jelly toast? Anyways...carry on.

Zongzheng Huai'en from Meet You At the Blossom. Where do I even begin? Raging jealous prince who at first wouldn't admit he liked Xiaobao but went on a bloodbath rampage at a brothel because he was there. Not to mention he lied about his identity to steal from Xiaobao's family but got so pissed when Xiaobao was untruthful with him. Then he went to full on stalking mode after he and Xiaobao. He threatened Xiaobao's life and his parents' lives. He considered stealing Xiaobao and locking him up if Xiaobao didn't take him back. Despite my love for the poorly treated prince Huai'en is the epitome of a Red Flag. I'm not even gon hold you, I was absolutely obsessed and smitten with him.

Charn from Laws of Attraction. You know what they say, "Hurt people, hurt people," and that was Charn's whole deal. He decided not to care about anyone or anything and did whatever he wanted. He cheated on his cases, tampered with evidence, exploited everyone around him, and he also tried to burn down his crush's house with the man and his granny still inside. And he did it all with THE most unsettling smile...like he was having fun. He cared more about getting revenge than about others or even himself. He was on a self destructive ride to oblivion and he was just fine with that. He was so charming tho and that makes up for everything.

Kiyoi from Utsukushii Kare. I mean my boy was a bully and treated Hira like crap when they first met. He wanted to be worshipped by all but allowed the worst people to be around him just because they admired him and thought he was pretty. He was mean-spirited at times and constantly lashed out at Hira. I know that part of the reason he was so harsh with his own boyfriend though is because often times Hira acted more like a stalker fan than a boyfriend. He acted like an outsider in his own relationship so I can see how that would be extremely frustrating to Kiyoi.

Gao Shi De from We Best Love. Let's see...because he didn't know how to confess he made himself relevant in his crush's life by beating him at every single thing they did in life (academics, sports, contests, and popularity). He rigged a door knob to fall off so he could spend the night with his crush oh and also tricked him into becoming his errand boy. Then after they finally got together he allowed an outsider to talk him into ghosting the love of his life for FIVE YEARS. Then tried to get him back without even trying to explain what happened. A hot ass mess...my beloved.

[donutwatches]

MHA 3.8 - From Iida to Midoriya - part 1/2

HAPPY 2025!

Everybody shut up, Tsuyu is speaking!

I always pay attention when Tsu chips in because everything she says is smart and honest. Love a blunt queen who speaks her mind.

I ended up disagreeing with everything she says here, ha. Breaking rules does not make you the same as a villain, some rules should be broken in order to do the right thing.

At this point, cut them off and boot up the super powered prosthetics. Edward Elric it up.

The comedy in this show takes me tf out sometimes. The letter is so sweet and genuine too, and then it swerves to 'sorry about your balls'.

Iida is in his feelings. He is right that they barely got away with the Stain situation basically 2 seconds ago. These kids never rest.

It is not exactly the same though. Iida went on a personal vendetta quest and got his butt saved. Going on a rescue mission to save Bakugo is different.

I wonder if Momo and Kirishima are confused since they were never told the truth of what happened with Stain right?

OOOOOH SHHHHIIIII-

Ouch. Seeing his brother become paralyzed has made seeing Deku break his bones over and over so much worse for Iida. To see Deku lose his ability to do hero work the same way his brother did would be crushing.

In this class photo we have, from left to right: Material Girl, Groot Jr., Shamu, Buff Furry, Barbecue Dad, Slender Man in Denim, Ninja with the Bad Hair, and Gym Boi's Final Form. What a line up.

For the first time, Bakugo's temper is being directed at an appropriate target, and it feels so satisfying, lol.

Why do Momo and Iida sound like chaperones supervising teenagers on a date? Midoriya looks so called-out. You know he isn't going to behave.

Imagine being in a best bro contest and your competition is Kirishima. No one has a chance at beating him.

Part 2 is here

Masterlist

TAGLIST

@jessiedead @champion-prism @granny-griffin

@setfiretotheshadows @blackaquokat @hyperfixations-and-cringe

@call-me-copycat @noonthemoon @sylv-e-on @bicheetopuff

[andisupreme]

Responses to the Snickers Salad that I brought to the company Thanksgiving lunch break potluck on Friday (chopped granny smith apples and snickers chunks in a fluff mixture of vanilla pudding and cool whip that looks alarmingly like potato salad and which I referred to affectionately multiple times as "lunch lady slop")

"That was... weird. But also weirdly good? We were all standing in a circle back there trying it like '.........huh.'" *mimes eating more*

"That was... a fun experience. Thank you for bringing it. :)"

(accusingly whilst scooping more, as though I have laced it ketamine or something) "Andi, what IS this?! I'm back for THIRDS!"

(overheard between two others, not to me) "Is that a ziploc bag of snickers salad?" "Bro--do NOT judge me bro"

I went home with a nearly empty tub.

Consensus: Peak 50s-60s dessert salad abomination. A sin, a crime against nature. Amusingly, a hit nonetheless, much to the consternation of all who tried it.

[gamblersdoll]

Omg I asked so many people. Cause I need this. I even asked a mxm blog... Omg I am so embarrassed

Non alcoholic shy reader and neighborhood big bro satoru.

Context.

Reader is new in the building. And the grandma gives her alcohol and alcohol based food. Since the granny is the nicest woman alive. So, reader gives the food and alcohol to gojo. But one day, things escalated and he took her virginity.

he was a big brother to everyone, always preaching wisdom and how to do things in creative and certain ways— since he supposedly “went through the same thing last year or two years ago.”

yet, he had his eyes dead set on you, ever since you moved to the big house that almost everyone wanted. they questioned how you were able to afford it, yet, they praised you more. the house was nice, had a nice pool in the back. with a big, nice balcony overhead the patio. on top of that, it was much more spacious on the inside than out, it almost felt surreal when you stepped in.

and on top of that, you had already liked your neighbors. this one grandmother and gigi next door loved and adored you. you were of age and weening off the liquid alcohol, so you only really ate anything that wasnt too strong or no alcoholic based food or beverages. luckily, you found satoru who actually enjoyed it— she didnt mind, of course. she treated you like her own, always looking forward to sitting with her on a rocking chair drinking a arnold palmer.

yet, you were still excited to see this party down at some house that was obviously satorus’. you did feel nervous at first, no lying there. hell, you were new, so was it a problem?

the wall’s reverberated with the music, the hum and the rough beat pulsing through your veins all around you. you looked around yourself, damn. maybe everyone in the neighborhood was a alcoholic or just turned eighteen. you couldnt tell, the way they had two cups in hand and drank from both of them. on top of that, they mixed white alcohol and brown, like fucking idiots.

yet, again. both his ocean eyes and your colored ones were locked onto each other, leaving leading glances from across the room until he was buzzing to come over to you.

“new girl.” he chortled, leaning down to your face and holding his cup. you smelled it— yeah, that was malibu and henny mixed together.. idiot. he was more than buzzing, drunk even maybe. “you– doing alright?”

“yeah, i’m good.” you replied, watching how the tips of his ears were red and his nose looking like rudolf.

it felt like nothing was ever there, like no one was there. the way his lips crashed down to yours, a hand on your hip and him giggling in the kiss. “been meaning to ask how you greet people!” he tipsily says, ruffling your hair and taking his leave.

yet, something felt like he tells you to follow him.

so you, a girl that was so easy to get her heart racing, followed him to some random vacant room. he only giggled and hiccuped when you spoke about your move and how you only just started your freshman year of college, and he swirled his drink in the cheap plastic red cup.

he nods every now and again, a hand inching up your thigh and resting his head on your shoulder. it got you running hot, feeling how much thicker the air was and how his breathing matched yours. another hand groped a breast, him whining yet moaning at the contact.

his nips at your neck, snickering when you rambled about “what are you doing?” or whatever you said. he didnt care.

he simply knew that it would be a good idea to claim you before anyone else did.

and thats how you got here, a drunken satoru gojo between your legs. ontop of that, he was eating your pussy– no, slobbering all over it. was that what alcohol did to people? make their arousals more potent and make them more nasty than anything? hell if you fucking knew it.

his fingers were covered in what you truthfully believed was his spit, but it was ninety percent spit, ten percent arousal from you. and he piston it into your clenched walls.

he scooted up to your face, leaving a sloppy kiss on you lips, then your cheek as he slips himself in, until you hissed and tapped on him.

“whats wrong?” he asks, stopping himself and looking into your eyes. “too big?”

“no– well, maybe…” you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut and looking away. “just.. go slow.”

his eyes dilate, he instantly knew what that meant.

you were a virgin, and you were allowing hims to take your virgin mary body and ravage it with all of his might. he grits his teeth, keeping himself from groaning and rolling his eyes back.

he does as promised, slipping away into your velvet walls and keeps himself there, allowing your shaking legs to subside and giving pepper kisses along your jaw to soothe your aching. you look up, nodding your head.

“you can, start now.” you pause in between, moaning instantly as you feel him pull away, slamming himself back in.

it felt pornographic the way his thrusts were, the ‘plap, plap, plaps’ that echoed and your moans drowned out by the music of eight bit playing in the back, it also felt so lewd the way your breasts bounced up from the sheer force of the ravaging nine inches he gave you.

and be damned if he could draw a orgasm while having you cream all over him. because thats what just happened whenever he hit that spot that does feel foreign at first, but with the way his mean fat tip was, it felt like heaven. and he was no better, deciding that since it was your first time, he would spurt himself all on your pretty nipples.

yet, usually he never went for the experienced women, because he knows once you start having sex, you crave it more than anything.

fortunately for you, he would enjoy you.

[exeggcute]

interesting links roundup #8

>>> permalink <<<

reading

Abbey’s Road: Ecoterror in fiction and film

Against the dark forest

As if Times Weren’t Unsettling Enough, Saturn Is Losing Its Rings

The California Job-Killer That Wasn’t

Could Unionizing Protect Contestants From The Reality Of Reality TV?

The Depths of Wikipedians

Did a Best-Selling Romantasy Novelist Steal Another Writer’s Story?

Do You Even Maxx, Bro?

The Final Boss of Our Medical Misery

The first thing the baby did wrong... (short fiction by Donald Barthelme)

How the Far Right Reports on the Border

In search of the mysterious "Lucky Luciano," who "had to do it to em"

Inside the Federal Bureau Of Way Too Many Guns

Labor’s Prodigal Son Returns

The Long-Lost Tarzan Atari Game, Preserved

Los Angeles Fire Season Is Beginning Again. And It Will Never End. [2019]

The New Business of Breakups

A Panphonic Poem for Mission: Impossible 3

Phase behavior of Cacio and Pepe sauce

Planet Puppet

Software Bugs That Cause Real-World Harm

The Theory That Volcanoes Killed the Dinosaurs Is Officially Extinct

The TikTok electorate

Was This Half-Billion-Year-Old Wrinkled Sack With No Anus, Previously Believed To Be Our Earliest Ancestor, Actually A Baby Penis Worm?

2024 Shkreli Awards

tools/reference

The Creator's Guide to Comics Devices

Granny Knot Info

Mixbox Painter

Real-time ISS stats

Scale Sequencer

other

DOOM: The Gallery Experience

IMG_0001

Leaving and Waving

Panic World: Did Tumblr turn kids trans? (With Vera Drew)

Science 4 for Christian Schools

[moongrace92]

dating the seven hc’s!

BOYS!!

percy jackson

• this man LOVES to teach you shit. he’d try to teach you how to skateboard, you’d repeatedly fall and he’d repeatedly apologize even though it wasn’t his fault. your at the skatepark until sunset, laughing and.. well, skateboarding

• percy DEFF loves to casually bake. this means baking cookies, little treats, and for sure messing up sometimes and still eating charred crossiants, giggling over how they taste… yall still kiss after

• casual PDA!! hand holding, his head on your shoulder while your with your friends, linking pinkies, fidgeting with your hair, leaning against him, his arm around you, embraces.

jason grace

• oh he’s definitely awkward. stiff as hell. but also touch starved. so cuddling contains him big spooning and it looking like this |(. or him little spooning and it looking like this. (| but cuddling ALL the time

• would be very in love with you. smiling up at you. putting his head on your shoulder while you play with his hair. giggles. staring into your eyes. sparring as a love language. drawing on eachother, J + (your initial)

• his love language is sparring, like i said. it’s acts of service. doing your laundry while you talk and kiss. making you breakfast. sparring except he starts just staring at you and he loses. picking out swords for eachother in the weapons shed.

leo valdez

• OKAY. taking you out for rides on festus? while ur up, you cloud gaze and name shapes in the clouds? him trying to impress you with stupid pick up lines but you kiss him anyway and he looks flushed. laughs. giggles! this guy is literally your best friend. he LOOVES youyuuu

• making you little metal projects whenever he’s bored. dragons, cupcakes, etc. going into your cabin secretly to give it to you as a surprise for th morning and then accidentally dropping it and waking you. you giggle over it and he ends up spending the night in the cramped little bunk bed, playing with eachothers hair (can you tell i love playing with hair??)

• kissing him and he lights up on fire. “pretty girls make me nervous!” him accidentally lighting up on fire when he talks about you. no further explanation

frank zhang

• he is very shy at first. awkwardly wrapping you in his arms, and you can feel him smiling like a little kid into your shoulder. etc etc. but then!! he gets comfy and SHOWERS you with affection. hugs from behind, kisses kisses kisses. lacing your fingers through his. Still very shy abt pda tho

• as a mars kid yes he does play call of duty. constantly playing with leo and percy and jason (who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing) crashing out, but whenever you join him on the couch, suddenly he’s calming down, and just playing silently. leo and percy chaotic as hell tho

• GIFTS this man showers you with GIFTS. usually he’d never flaunt the granny money but whenever you even mention you wanted something. Check bro check. “you said you wanted it!! <3” on a note next to whatever dress or purse or whatev he got you!!

GIRLS!!

piper mclean

• i hc her as loving to dj. she’s brat. she loves charli. she loves to party. taking you out to parties, kissing at the club, confessing your undying love for eachother drunk, BUT. she’s really not SUPER SUPER party girl. like. once in awhile. but just partying together, her making cheesy remixes for you, HER REACHING OVER HER HOME DJ TABLE TO KISS YOU

• doing eachothers nails. learning hobbies just to do them together. PDA. PDA!! freely kissing, holding hands, etc. cutting eachothers hair.. you know it’s just very like two people who love eachother and one is batshit crazy. also she’s a hand swingerS

• sharing secrets about eachother you already knew and giggling as FUCK!! face masks together except some of it is smeared because she accidentally smeared it when she gave you a quick kiss.

annabeth chase …(begrudgingly)

• SHE IS A FUN FACT BITCH. you guys will be hanging out and just reading, affectionate parallel play, and she will be like “oh, babe, did you know that ____?” and she hopes to gods you don’t to impress you.!even if you do, you pretend not too. you’d usually have a laugh!!

• elaborate ass dates. she would research places to go that have your favorite food. little details you’d light up at, “well, i remembered you said ___.” then kissing her and after she looks pleased and triumphant. (this was her GRAND PLAN. iykyk)

• fiddling with your fingers. no further explanation. she just WOULD.

hazel levesque

• LOVES CARNIVALS. LOOVES. deerfield fair? yes, it’s upstate in NH but it’s “so great!” and Arion really is that fast. Coney island? been there a million times on a date. you go every anniversary bc it was your first date. kisses on the ferris wheel, sharing funnel cake. also hiking

• you love to curl up next to her, bury yourself in her hair as you watch a cheesy old romance film. forehead kisses. kissing her hair. kissing alot except lips bc she’s old timey like that.

• YOU LOVE TO TEACH HER STUFF LIKE MODERN. NO ELABORATION BC 1 self EPXLAINED 2 IM TIRED AND IF I DRAFT THUS ITS NEVER LEAVING.

[ryin-silverfish]

For those not familiar with the Chinese Studio book, could you please name the fox spirits that appear in the book?

That is...quite a monumental task, because there are so many of them! Like, more than 80 out of 500+ short stories. As such, I'll just list the foxes I like the most.

Feng Sanniang - the one and only lesbian fox of Liaozhai, who falls in love with Fan Shiyi Niang (who is implied to feel the same way), yet can't get together with her for obvious reasons, and settles on finding a good husband for her crush instead.

When Shiyi Niang's family objected to the marriage and forced her into suicide, Feng Sanniang revives her, reunites her with her husband, and...has her cultivation ruined when said man slept with her while she was drunk.

No seriously, what. After that, she reveals she is a fox and falls in love with Shiyi Niang at first sight, but alas, staying with her would only cause more suffering for both of them, before leaving forever.

Ying Ning - not a full fox, but the daughter of a human and a fox, raised by a ghostly granny. Babygirl. Like, she's just so cute in the first half of the story. Yet she isn't completely naive and innocent, and the subtle stepford smiler implication is...really sad.

Hong Yu - the bro-est of foxes. She starts dating in secret with a scholar, gets yelled at by said scholar's dad for violating laws of propriety, settles on being a wingman and giving enough money to her boyfriend to marry another woman before leaving.

However, the scholar's marriage was soon torn apart by a corrupt official forcing his wife to be a concubine; in return, his wife committed suicide and his father died of grief and rage.

Then a nameless vigilante killed the corrupt official, and the scholar was arrested because of it. During the arrest, his young son was forcefully separated from him and went missing, and when he was finally released, he had lost everything except his house.

But suddenly, Hong Yu showed up with his son! She had saved the kid and raised him while the scholar was in jail, and through her subsequent labor, the family was restored to prosperity.

Lian Xiang - the fox in the human-fox-ghost love triangle. "She's just bad for you, dear, literally. Like, she is a ghost and sleeping with her will slowly kill you. But alright, if you insist, I'll heal you after her visits."

The love triangle gets resolved in a fox-human-ghost polycule, but not without the involvement of possession and Lian Xiang getting reincarnated into a human body.

The Ugly Fox - nameless, except for the fact that she was very ugly. Her story is also extremely catharthic. Essentially, she paid this Mu guy to sleep with her, his family got rich as a result, and he repaid her by employing an exorcist and drawing talismans on his mansion gate to keep her out.

She was rightfully pissed, demanded all her money back, beat up the exorcist, then unleashed a little sharp-toothed critter on Mu that bit off two of his toes, which finally forced him to give up the money.

At which point she took her money, left, remarried another peasant in the nearby village, and built her new family into a wealthy and powerful one.

Jiao Na - your typical human-fox love story, except the human, Kong, sacrificed just as much for the fox, stepping up to save her family from the divine thunderbolts and dying in the process.

(Here, the divine thunderbolts aren't of the "retribution" variety, sent only against foxes that engage in harmful cultivation. It is the more generic "peril" variety, something all yaoguais must survive because their cultivation is inherently against the natural order.)

She, in turn, resurrected him by delivering a red pill (implied to be her inner core) into his mouth via a kiss, and they lived happily ever after——even though Kong already had a wife, who was Jiao Na's cousin and also a fox.

...Like I said, there are so, so many more fox spirits in Liaozhai, and even though Pu Songling was still beholden to the standards of his times (thus the foxes often resigning themselves to wingman or concubine status), his fox girls still managed to be lively, unique characters.

[screamintoad]

Silanche kid-Alaric Vanrouge

I liked both vers so take em. RSA pride and Diasomnia pride

“I was hoping to attend NRC like my sister but…maybe I fit in better here.”

Voice claim: TBA

Character info

  Alaric is a quiet and sometimes timid young man. He prefers his own company unless he’s around people he likes. Sometimes others will find him curled up somewhere taking short naps in between longer classes. Sometimes the third year students will poke fun at him because they know his sister went to NRC but he always brushes them off, until they find a snapping plant in their dorm rooms a few hours later. Despite that though he’s a straight A student, he’s quiet but he’s learned a lot from growing up in Briar Valley and around the royal family. He actually talks a lot to his roommate, especially about books they’ve read or are reading. 

  His household is quite large since it’s him, his older sister, his parents, grandpa, and great grandmother all living together. Not including the animals. But, he wouldn’t have it any other way. His mom told him about when it was just her and her grandma living together with their old dog and he’s always thought about how lonely they both must have been. At home in Briar Valley he’ll be all over town, from helping at his mama’s bakery, to his granny’s flower shop, to hanging out at the castle when Silver is on duty. 

Fun facts: Aroace icon. Certified mama’s boy. He doesn’t want to become a knight but he would be around his sister when she was training so he learned some things that way. Blanche and Granny Primrose made sure to teach him all about plants and botany, y’know, just in case. When he visits home, him and Fleur have a tradition of going on a trail ride past a waterfall that they’ve dubbed the “Fire Fall” because at sunrise the water appears golden-orange, then they’ll race back home and the winner chooses their next activity. 

Basic info

Age: 16

Height: 173cm/5’6 during first year, 185cm/6’ at graduation 

B-day: February 2nd (Aquarius) 

Dominant hand: left

Family: Blanche and Silver (Mama and Dad), Fleur (sister), Lilia (grandpa “old man” for funnies), Granny Primrose (great grandma “granny”)

Nickname: Lil bat (by family), Ricky (by friends)

1st year

Class B

Club: Horseback riding club

Best subject: Botany

Hobbies: Gardening, reading, baking

Pet peeve: People who can’t mind their business

Favorite food: His mama’s cooking

Least favorite food: His grandpa’s cooking

Talent: Tending to plants

Character dynamics

Fleur: Thick as thieves, they’re inseparable when either of them comes home. Even as kids he would always follow her around. If he’s busy with something then she’ll be the one to find him and hang out until he’s finished. 

Jane: Opposites into best friends. He doesn’t encourage her late night visits but he always hints that it’s okay. 

Luna Howl: If he has bite marks they’re from her. Somehow she always drags him into her and Jane’s shenanigans, yet he never complains. 

Joey Howl: Big bro. But seriously they’re close as well, he helped push him into confessing to Fleur. 

Mika Bucchi: Roommateee. They spent the first week at RSA in complete silence, until Alaric saw him reading one of his favorite books and got so excited he asked about his thoughts on it. Ever since then they’ve talked to each other a lot more. He still forgets to warm him when Jane visits. 

HOWL SIBS BELONG TO @blood-red-bumblebee AND MIKA BELONGS TO @twtysevapr

anddd extra tags: @gimmeurmoneyagh @babyghoul138 @bunniehunn @angelwishess @moonyasnow

@skibidibabygirl @justm3di0cr3 @midnightmah07 @beneathsakurashade @4necdote

@theolivetree123 TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED OR NOT

[ririsasy]

Bro Daddy was such a cheerful movie to watch, was curious to see what Prithvi would do teaming up with Mohanlal again for his second movie as a director after their success together with Lucifer and Prithvi really didn’t disappoint, he really has an unique style as a director, I think he was trying to proof himself and see if he could do a good rom-com and I think he definitely could! This movie was an enjoyable ride from start to finish. Prithvi said in an interview that he did this movie during pandemic and thinking about a light hearted movie to watch on streaming services with family because the time was bleak and want to bring something to laugh together with and it was clear that he also have so much fun himself directing the movie, love seeing his adorable laugh between takes. What this man couldn’t do?? That’s the real question now.

Even though the movie was so colorful and there were so many scenes to gif lol but for me the most fun part was watching the BTS (pardon the quality because they only gave that tiny footage beside the rolling credits) because when Prithvi was directing he acted and became like every character in his movie 😂

1. Acting like a cool capable savvy tech dude

2. Directing an attitude for a granny 😂

3. Became an eccentric wedding organizer lol

4. How to act cute toward your mother in law

5. And of course directing the Mohanlal, I adore all these BTS footage because Mohanlal look like he clearly adore Prithvi. These are like two strikes successful good movies they made together

No wonder Prithvi could emote so easily when he became the actor himself, he could just put his director mind and thought about what a director would want to see in this or that kind of situation from him.

And my favorite from the bts is pregnant prithviraj 😂 when he’s directing the morning sickness because well…this BTS inspired the whole new Salaar AU for me 😂🤣 (forgive me because whatever movie I watched of Prithviraj I will keep trying to connect it to Salaar somehow, so watch out for more crossover 😂)

Salaar omega verse AU headcanon below (thanks to this bro daddy BTS) 🤣 👇👇🐺🐮

Obviously it’s an mpreg. So proceed if you’re okay with it.

Salaar is so easy to see as an omegaverse because Deva's traits are inherently similar to all the feral possessive alpha traits (with never let anyone to touch Varadha or he will lost his cool and he basically from a wolf tribe like???? That’s an alpha right there) and Varadha is the omega that everyone is crazy about (seriously what’s up with everyone trying to take Varadha’s honor and touching him in humiliating and inappropriate way hands off!)

So, what if Varadha after Deva left Khansaar started showing symptoms making Baachi (okay we gonna pretend he’s alive in this AU) all confused what happened to his brother.

Deva didn't know that Varadha was pregnant with his child and it was Varadha who banished him anyway, Actually even Varadha himself didn't know that he was pregnant he only figured it out after 3 months of Deva's departure.

I will imagine that it’s the same with Prithvi character in bro daddy where he is having a hard time trying to tell the news to his parents but in Salaar AU he keeps making up excuses to Baachi about his morning sickness like it was because of the food stomach flu and everything until he runs out of excuses and Baachi figured it out eventually when his stomach started showing and Varadha just didn’t make a public appearance much anymore.

So Imagine 7 years later Deva broke the seal only to be greeted at Khansaar gate by a 7 years old kid that look like him.

It is hilarious but also sad at the same time moment like “why the hell this kid looks like me , where is his parents”

Varadha was searching for the brat (attitude close to a maniac that one he used to love) that’s been causing havoc all throughout the palace, his kid was so close of getting out of the big gate himself because he was spying on the gate to open ready to run away.

The reason why he run because he got into an argument that morning with Varadha who didn’t tell him about his mother. Varadha was like “you didn’t have a mother, I carried you myself” and his son was like “then where’s my father???? What’s his name” and Varadha refused to answer so his kid set out his heart and packed a tiny backpack throwing his clothes inside ready to explore the world searching for his dad 😂

That he immediately met at the gate! what’s the odd and he looked up at Deva, strong and big Deva full of charisma with sun rays illuminating his figure like “are you my dad?” Just as Varadha arrived behind them with his entourage.

Bilal that arrived behind Deva a moment later also didn’t know that Varadha was pregnant! He left with Deva but it’s so easy for him to put the two pictures together because well the brat look like the splitting image of deva and varadha. They didn’t need DNA test for that to know who his fathers are 😂

Varadha calling his son that he named Raju (pfft) to quickly come to his side and scold him because why would he bother a stranger like that.

Deva is like “is he?–” (Mine) he couldn’t say the word because what if he’s not? 😭😭

Deva didn’t know which one is worse, not knowing you fathered a child and not be there for him for 7 full years or Varadha already taking a queen and got married and have a son now. Both equally devastating. That’s when Baachi rushed toward him to punch Deva on his face and Deva got his answer.

Imagine if it was the last hate sex they have before the big separation that made Varadha got 🫃, I mean they start rawing the moment Deva enter Khansaar (cough the moment where Vishnu was throwing that firework at Varadha’s doorstep and Deva was waking up behind Varadha 👀 omega verse and all I imagined Deva’s presence might’ve triggered an early heat for Varadha) but since Varadha never showed any symptoms when he was around in Khansaar for a whole year so Deva made a quick calculation that the child was indeed conceived when they were tearing the house apart before they went their separate ways. 😞

Anyway that’s all I got from now lol feel free if you want to elaborate it more or continue this headcanon . I love my imaginary 7 years old boy, Raju, already.

[dramaticallytotal]

Izzy The Matchmaker

Don't look at me. Yes! Another World Tour Au!

I'm weak.

I love this season.

Anywho!

New idea! A new idea which I got listening to Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof!

Izzy saw Noah and Alejandro sneaking peaks at each other at the Gemmy Awards when no one else did, and she immediately felt a love connection between the two. And as Noah's favorite sister (he claims he doesn't have a favorite, but Izzy knows better), she was contractually obligated to be his wing wingwoman/matchmaker! And Izzy always got the job down no matter what it entailed. Then the insane race happened, and Izzy had been having so much fun! Except when they wrecked. But no one got hurt, so that's a win! Then they were rescued, and Izzy noticed that Noah pretended to be asleep on Eva when some of the others went off to find help. It seemed fun, so she joined the pile! She put two and two together when they were rescued that this must have been a weird test of Chris's that determined who got to star in the new season.

She mentally thanked Noah for making sure Eva stayed and got to participate this time. Team E-Scope was finally together for a season and ready to play! This means he needed to be rewarded, and what better way to reward her lil' bro than by getting him a boyfriend?

She tried to make sure he sat next to the guy on the bus ride to the film lot but was unsuccessful since he sat with Eva instead, and Izzy couldn't be mad about that. But on their way to the location of the new season, she made sure they had to sit together. Izzy was definitely not spying on the two talking, and she definitely didn't see Noah laugh at something Mr. Charmer said.

Then they were on the plane, THE PLANE!!!, and Chris tossed out Ezekiel, which was sooooo fun. And next thing Izzy knew they were in Egypt! Just when she was about to go under the pyramid with her friends, she snatched up Noah and tossed him perfectly to Alejandro, who caught him in a panic. "Haha, you caught him! That means you have to take him over the pyramid, no takebacksies!!!

"IZZY!" She heard Noah yell, but like a good friend, she ignored him and pushed Owen and Eva into the entrance of the pyramid. Now, usually, she would have loved to be wrapped in those fun bandages, but Izzy was a woman on a mission, and she ran around until she spotted an intern and pounced. No... literally...

She grabbed their walkie talkie and changed it to the channel that only Chris and Chef were on, she only knew this because she visited Noah at work often and saw him switch channels because apparently Chris and Chef hated being on a channel with everyone. "McLean."

"Uuuuh who is this?"

"Izzy!"

"How did crazy get a walkie-talkie?" That one was Chefie! Fun!

"That's not important! I have demands!"

"She probably got it from an intern." Chefie again!

"Keep the intern. We got plenty." That was Chris, and that statement was sad. Not for her. For the intern still squished under her.

"You don't want to play with me, McLean. I'm just asking you make sure my No-No and that Alejandro guy end up on the same team."

"...and why would I do that?"

"You'll do that because I'll tell Granny Mudaliar that you were the one who broke her late mother's handmade vase even though you blamed Nanette (Neelima's cat)."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me!"

"Ugh! Fine! Fine! Just don't tell Elayanila! It would break her heart! I'm her favorite!"

Izzy didn't bother responding to that and just hopped off the intern and continued the challenge.

_________

Over the pyramid:

Alejandro ended up carrying Noah and Bridgette because Tyler carried Lindsay. No, Lindsay forgetting Tyler in this au, and Tyler is still clumsy, but I feel like it suddenly evaporates when he is holding Lindsay. Love makes him capable of incredible feats!

"You know you didn't actually have to carry me this whole time." Noah drawled, but made no move to escape the arm that was holding him up. He would have tried to make conversation with Bridgette, but she seemed off in la la land.

Alejandro raised an eyebrow and somehow managed to looked a little offended at the same time. "I am a man of my word amigo!"

"You didn't even give your word or agree!"

"A thank you would be nice instead of a lecture, you know."

"Thank you for being smarter than Justin yet still not knowing the difference between a lecture and facts. This isn't a lecture. You'd know if I was giving a lecture. I am merely stating facts."

".....You are....something."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You do that."

__________________

Izzy's plan worked, and Noah was put on the same team as Alejandro. The teams are:

Team Victory: Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Justin, Ezekiel, and Sadie. (Duncan was supposed to be on this team, but he quit.)

Team Amazon: Courtney, Leshawna, Heather, Gwen, Katie, Sierra, and Harold.

Team Chris: Noah, Alejandro, Eva, Cody, Izzy, Owen, and Tyler.

Chris Team E-Scope on the same team as a peace offering despite the fact he listened to Izzy's demand and made sure to put Noah on a team with Alejandro. It was due to fear but also for his intern. He knew Izzy was planning some kind of shenanigan with him in the center and wanted to do something nice. The small, grateful smile he was given by Noah totally didn't make him happy or proud of his decision. Absolutely not.

__________

Team E-Scope + Owen all on one team!!! Poor Alejandro.

Alenoah shenanigans so much earlier because of Izzy.

Chris and Chef catch on to why Izzy wanted Alejandro and Noah on the same team and throw a fit. Not their son!!!

Mixed up teams, which means new dynamics!!

Izzy tries to get Alenoah together at least once per episode, and she's determined to stay in the game until that happens. Izzy is playing seriously, so she stays in.

Alejandro is trying to scheme but keeps getting distracted by his attractive and witty teammate!

Owen figures out what Izzy is doing and is her official assistant! Both are bummed out that they couldn't find a cherub cupid outfit for Owen to wear, but despite the setback, they will persevere!

Eva doesn't know what Izzy is planning and doesn't care as long as it's not harmful to them, and so far, it hasn't been, so she's content to pretending everything is normal.

Noah thinks Izzy also caught on to the fact that Alejandro is an eel and is using him to distract the charmer to foil his plans! That's the only reason he goes along with her shenanigans. Totally.